Idea for this post came from Jaime's brain...
Since I don't have tv, I don't see commercials. I only see them when I'm over someone's house. And even then, I'm rarely paying enough attention to pinpoint commercials that annoy me.
So let's just summarize certain characteristics that make me hate an ad.
Beautiful People and their Beautiful Clothes.
Everyone in the ad is smoking hot. Unrealistically pretty. And they all got on clothes people don't wear in real life. I mean, there are no wrinkled shirt tails from driving in the car on their way to...well, let's see....I guess these kinds of commercials are usually about banks or something. So on their way to the bank, are you telling me they didn't SIT down at all? Because if they did, then there should be wrinkles on their clothes! If I just look at the driver's seat in my car, my clothes get wrinkled. And I swear if I saw some of the women on these commercials at my bank once, just once, I'd either be married or convicted of stalking. No one looks like that going to the bank. C'MON!
When they draw stuff.
What is this, art class? It may have been clever the first 34 commercials that advertised their stuff with "active drawings"...but now its just annoying. STOP DRAWING ON MY TV!!! You paid all that money for ad space just to have some artsy fartsy scribble the whole time? C'MON!
Kids.
Kids are cute, sure.
But when you shove them down our throats, its not cute. Its creepy.
I think it was a Juicy Juice ad...they used random 'cute' kids to do 'cute' things in 'cute' voices to sell their juice. But it was manufactured cuteness. Forced cuteness. Like someone was behind the camera with a gun to their moms' heads in order to make the kids act as cute as possible. Too fake, too fake.
Impossible car stunts.
Do I want a Cadillac? Yup.
Do I plan to call up 19 other people with Cadillacs, coordinate an overly-elaborate choreographed drive-dance, and do it in the desert? Nope.
So why do they use that to advertise with? I don't want to drive my Caddy in some syncopated-driving scene, weaving in and out of other cars, close to death at every swoop. And some pop song playing in the background.
Show me a Cadillac commercial where a guy is going to get a slice of pizza while listening to "More Bounce to the Ounce", and grabbing some milk at the last minute, then commenting on how nice the car's gas mileage is. Then I'll go buy a Cadillac...one day.
Sophistication.
They show a newborn tree growing slowly under a beautiful sky.
A crowded and busy kitchen in a world-class restaurant.
A man parachuting.
Then a clown.
A Verizon Wireless logo pops up, then its over.
Get outta here!
For the most part, I hate commercials with people with annoying voices, stupid music, or that make no sense. Everything else is funny or unnoticed.
"HILLSHIRE FARMS, GO MEAT!" Now those are commercials!
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